Realism
by Gurkblomma
Summary: In a universe where Zuko never found the good in him and the resistance failed, they lived. They loved. Then she was captured and died. AU, Zutara.


**Summary:** In a universe where Zuko never found the good in him and the resistance failed, they lived. They loved. Then was captured and died. AU, Zutara.

I apologize for all possible errors and mistakes, seeing as English isn't my first language; please point them out so that I can change them.

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**Realism.**

She remembers the days when the plans were the most amazing, when tremendous feats were dreamt up and she openly smiles at the memory in the darkness. It feels like a lifetime ago, as if eons have passed since and not only five or seven years. No special moment stands out but she can recall the sensation of pure happiness, ease, one rarely interrupted by battles and fights. It was before the actual revolution, resistance, began. It was her and Sokka, then Aang and Toph and all of them, sitting in the woods, laughing, wildly planning extravagant things with Sokka gesturing wildly and Aang smiling slightly from a corner, silently agreeing that what they were doing was right. And then that overwhelming moment when more were included, Jet and Haru and Suki, when it became official, they were doing this; the speeches that were held, battles won, celebrated victories and reunions. Why couldn't life had continued like that? Aang's destroyed face, that innocent face, his determined face, it is twirling in her mind, dancing precariously close to an edge, almost falling, and in the middle of all spinning images is Zuko.

She wonders vaguely if it was worth it. If it was worth Suki's death, her own coming death and all those men she knew and loved, captured. Prisoners. Sokka's eyes are those most alive in her inner being, so calm, so hard, strong, so warm. Always supportive, strong, by her side. Like a wolf he fought; a true hero. Will he ever be celebrated as such, celebrated as he rightly should be celebrated? Raised to the sky, his image made eternal in stone, a glorious warrior forever preserved in the history of the world. She hopes so, but deep inside, deeply in there where she always remains honest with herself, she knows it is a lie.

They have escaped now. They should have anyway. Sokka and Toph and Aang and Smellerbee and Ty Lee and even Mai. Both those closest to her and those involved far away; all tightly knit together and struggling for the same thing. Freedom. It is strange how much the single word means to her, odd that it can be so much yet so little. She has never had true and untainted freedom and she never will. It tastes bitter in her mouth, this taste of defeat and the knowledge of that all the others survived does not help much. She wants to live too. She wants to see the sun rise and smile and laugh and feel the hands of her prince stroking across her hair, kissing her, comforting. She would wipe silently but they have deprived her from water to stop her from bending and the tears won't come.

Zuko visits her once and it is in silence. He is at loss for words, still so surprised and unable to do something, anything. She can see how conflicting his emotions are, how he loves her so and how he hates all that she is, all at once. She can almost feel pity for him because of it. So when he asks if she thinks that they in another time, in another world, could have been able to live, love and be together she answers yes, even though she knows it not to be true. He, he looks so young where he stands dressed like a Prince is supposed to dress, in soft clothes caressing his skin the way she used to, such a contrast to her bloody and torn blue uniform and tangled hair that she almost laughs at how ridiculous it all is. But she says yes, despite the fact that she really knows and feels and knows again that she is for always meant to speak for those oppressed ,just as he always will stand and powerlessly watch, even though he possesses all the power in the world and everything really needed to make a change. She says yes, even though that they, the two of them, can never be until he uses his power and she knows he would never betray his country in such a way. It is part of why she loves him. The difference is that she considers treason to be idly standing by and watching, doing nothing at all.

There will be no other day. No final battle of their lives, no fight for freedom because that has already passed; only she didn't quite know it. She knows it now, feels it in every bone, vein and fibre of her body, of her being. No one will perform some miraculous rescue, nor will the people of the Fire Nation decide to let her live or that she is perfect to banish. She will die and when she does, it will be because fire spreads along her body, eating her, fire commanded to do so by the Princess, his sister, Azula. She will ask to have fire blasted at her straight away instead for a slowly burning bonfire, she thinks and she knows deep down that she will. She still feels a part of the people and that is how the people are executed. The Fire Nation has no time for slow burnings when many need to die. She will die a part of the people. A part of her wishes for martyrdom, for remembrance and pride and the chanting of her name. But the time will come and she will stand there, on the plate of stone, alone. As she steps up on it she will expect it to be different than it will be. She will expect colours to shine differently and she will think the roaring and mumbling of the crowd should be dampened and soft. She would have expected herself to be numb. She won't be. So she will hold her head high and she will be forced down on her knees, trying to find Zuko's face in the crowd. And she will and it will be turned away, refusing to watch the death of her, of his loved one. She will call him a coward in her mind and she will meet Iroh's eyes, full with hate, disgust and simple understanding. Then she will shout:

"Freedom. Freedom.

"Freedom!"

Then it will be done.


End file.
